


REMEMBERED | JENLISA

by kimwig



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 03:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21067844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimwig/pseuds/kimwig
Summary: "I realized that, in the end, no matter what you do, you will never be remembered."Lisa takes a night walk down the path of memories with her loved one, a walk that will not be remembered.originally published @ Wattpad





	REMEMBERED | JENLISA

The cloudy night rolled in, covering every bit of the dark sky above town, contrasting with the full moon and the stars decorating it. Even if very cloudly, they were still visible to the eye as if screaming they could never be concelead by any power, hanging in there like diamons on a really expensive pair of earings. The smell of rain lingered in the air along with the one of tteokbokki and barbeque as the few remaining awake drunk their problems away.

The street lamps casted their sulphurous glow on the rain-kissed walkway as the wind whispered through the branches and rustled leaves on the side of it. The two figures walking side by side were quiet, shivering while they hid behind scarfs and sweaters. Red from the cold cheeks and dry hands tucked inside their pockets, shoulders barely touching everytime a step was taken.

"My parents always said I looked like my sister," the shorter figure with long, black hair spoke "Not on the outside, but on the inside."

The girl's hands weren't buried in the pockets of her coat anymore, but in front of her face as she blew on them with her hot breath to warm them up, stealing glances at the taller in a beanie beside her while she dragged her feet on the walkway.

"I didn't believe them at first. I mean, my sister was weak. She let people take advantage of her, of her body," the shorter continued "She used and later blamed her hazy mind on the bad decisions she made. I thought I wasn't like her."

"Why are you telling me all of this, Jennie?" the girl in the beanie asked, her tear stained cheeks hidden under the darkness.

They hadn't met since the day Jennie left, almost a year ago and even if Lisa—the girl in the beanie—told anyone about their meeting they wouldn't believe her. They would think she was crazy.

"I thought I would never be in her position, laying on a hospital bed and ready to die," Jennie chuckled "You know, Eunji died with her mouth open."

This was not a matter to be laughing about, though Jennie couldn't help herself. This whole ordeal was crazy, walking down with her girlfriend on the walkway they created so many of their memories on.

"I was there, waiting for her to die when she felt the need to say her final words and she just," the raven haired girl laughed again "She just stopped breathing, with her mouth open as a few mumbles came out. From that day I said I would never want to be like this, die with my mouth open. It was pathetic."

Lisa found this story irrelevant to their case. Yet she couldn't speak up to Jennie, on the contrary, she wanted to hear her talk even if she was on about something completely out of subject. Lisa wanted to hear Jennie's smooth-like-silk voice that could put anyone at ease, like really expensive silky sheets on a king sized bed. It was relaxing.

"Why are you talking about death?" she asked, pulling on her beanie to cover her freezing ears as the wind blew harder.

"Because I'm dead." was Jennie's reply, turning her whole body to lay her eyes on the girl.

Even if Jennie's voice was captivating, those were the words Lisa couldn't stand to hear. The words that pushed sharp knives into her slowly-beating heart and later tore it out of her chest while leaving her to bleed to death as she stood helplessly, not being able to do anything.

"It's true, please don't cry." the raven head whispered, crouching next to the now crying figure of Lisa.

The blonde was on her knees, one hand holding onto her head while the other on the stick of death. It's glowing tip, illuminated a small part of her face while the thick smoke coming from it, concealed her tears.

"Why did you do this?" the taste of her tears was bitter, just like the smoke she inhaled deep into her lungs. The smoke that could kill her soon, slowly and painfully, like poison in her veins. But Lisa didn't mind, maybe that's why she had picked up on that habit. Maybe she wanted to meet Jennie earlier than destined and be by her even if that meant leaving everything behind.

"I felt alone." the girl replied, patting the girl's back.

"I was there, Jennie. I was." Lisa spoke in a hoarse voice as she pushed herself up and continued walking, putting the death stick between her trembeling lips.

"I know, but the feeling would never go away," Jennie explained "Even when I was at the top of that building, Lisa, it didn't fade away. I felt no remorse, didn't regret my decision one a bit."

Meeting her again would be great, Lisa thought when she first saw her, trying to reassure herself this was not a dream. This walk they were taking, she wanted it to be real and not some sort of side effect to the drugs she took, to whatever it was that she started smoking when having to deal with her girlfriend's passing.

"But I want you to know, this was not your fault," her silky voice held some harsh colour to it as she intertwined her hands with Lisa's, throwing the ciggarete away and leading her down the walkway, to the restaurant they had their first date in "I did this to myself and you were always here for me, I could feel you were. However, the loneliness trapped within me took control and it's not your fault. You couldn't have done something."

"I could have, Jennie!" Lisa was persistent "I loved you. I love you."

"And I love you too," the shorter said, smiling at the view of the table they sat on that first date. The date Lisa was so desperate to go to, yet shy all the time "I had to do it, though. The moment I let go, closed my eyes and felt my body giving in the air for that few agonizing seconds of the fall, I already felt better."

Jennie's hands traveled to cup Lisa's cold and damp-from-the-tears cheeks, standing on her tiptoes to leave a lingering kiss on her lips before looking into her eyes. Lisa knew what the kiss meant, she was aware that Jennie was visiting her after a year of watching the blonde struggle to let her now that her death wasn't her fault.

Jennie's death was not Lisa's fault.

Jennie's death was her own fault. And she wanted it to be that way.

"Do you remember anything?" Lisa mumbled, itching to pull another one of her cigarettes from her pocket "The night you died, I mean."

A soft sigh escaped from Jennie's lips coming from deep down her chest as she grabbed the blonde's hands in her own and led her to the alley where they shared their first kiss in, just a few blocks away from her apartment. Showing her in a way that they didn't have much time left.

"I do, yes," the raven haired girl smiled "I was alive after the fall, for a few seconds at least, although I felt nothing. And that was exactly what I was aiming. I remember trying to keep my mouth closed. I promised myself I wouldn't die with my mouth open like my sister and even though I was choking on my own blood, I attempted keeping it closed until the very last minute of my life."

The relentless wind had started to give up while the girls made it closer to Lisa's apartment, looking up at the stars that were slowly fading, becoming transparent. Sunrise must be really close.

"Those last few seconds, I realized a lot. Things that only made me happier about my decision." Jennie felt the need to finally explain Lisa everything. She was aware that the blonde was becoming a mess, blaming herself and she couldn't have her falling apart on the best years of her life.

They were now outside of Lisa's apartment, holding onto each other as the raven haired woman smiled at her girlfriend, the warmth her hands provided Lisa with was starting to cool off, her body slowly taking it's now normal temperature. One that is cold, that in combination with the dark blue colour of her limbs, reveals her true self, welcomes death upon her again.

"I realized that, in the end, no matter what you do, you will never be remembered," she spoke, voice getting hallower "Dead or alive, famous or not, no one will ever remember you. There's no immortality, not physical nor in the minds of the people."

Lisa blinked her eyes, shaking her head at the girl's words and embracing her tightly when all colour faded from her face, stumbling forward and holding onto Lisa's shoulders as the sun slowly rised.

The first sunbeams, without much shine to them, cascaded over the city as morning time rolled in. Shaking hands desperately grapped Jennie's body as she slowly faded from existence, smiling to the blonde for one last time and leaving Lisa stare at her stretched out arms, a mix of confusion and sorrow flooding her mind.

"It doesn't matter what you think," Lisa mumbled, taking off her beanie and looking up at the sky that had started getting brighter "I will always remember you, Jennie."


End file.
